Where-In I rant and I am unkind to the notion of Daudrey and Daudrey shippers. Be forewarned. You are on MY turf.
Friday, September 19, 2014
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
If I Could Be Good
So, I started writing this last Spring. About the time I was contemplating, in earnest, Jennifer's torment to be in the Underworld for Stay and what Rhiannon/Audrey would be like, what William would be like... etc. At the same time, I was already concerned with the fate of Jennifer in season 5 and what Mara would be like and how would I write for Nathan and Mara and Duke and Jennifer. I don't know where any of this will go. If I will have any more to add on to it. I'm keeping my focus on Stay and FILIAC right now. This is definitely a side project. Something for me to muse on with Mara. I kept thinking that of all her experiences. All the memories that she has as she was forced to live so many lives "in the back seat" of her own body (hello Tyler!Duke) did she ever wonder what it FELT like? She saw what it LOOKED like, but did she ever wonder what it FELT like to be looked at as The Good One. Hence... "If I Could Be Good. Primo Mobis to this piece is the question that Mara asks Jennifer toward the end. Imagining that conversation, and then what would lead to it. I suppose I will eventually imagine what comes after that exchange.
Please leave comments.
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“Now; who’s going to help me get William back?”
Duke staggered toward her, ready to kill her, to beg her, he didn’t know which. He caught sight of Nathan, stunned, heartbroken and growing angry just behind her. If it was in him, he’d help her himself. If only she would or could revive Jennifer. If only Jennifer would be alright again.
“Nathan!” Was that him, gasping his friend’s name? It wasn’t what he meant to do. He hadn’t meant to call out for Nathan at all. But Mara was right, he was dying, Jennifer might be dead and Nathan had to do it. He had to make the deal that Duke couldn’t make.
Through the red haze he saw Nathan look back and forth between himself and Jennifer, and saw the grim determination come over him.
Nathan looked at Jennifer and knew that Duke was in the same place he had been about a year ago before. Desperate to save the woman he loved and unable to do it at the same time. Duke had jumped into that barn with no guarantees of surviving it or coming out. He’d done it for Audrey and he’d done it for Nathan, himself. Now, it was Nathan’s turn. There was no way of knowing what he was getting himself into, but he had to try.
“You fix Jennifer. And Duke. And I’ll help you get William back.”
Mara turned around and sneered at him.
“You think you’ll get your precious Audrey back too?”
Nathan held his breath and his stance. “No one is going to help you so much as eat in this town if you let either one of them die.”
“Dwight,” Vince ordered, “get Dave and get your hundred yards clearance.” Vince leveled Duke’s gun on her. “Forget helping you eat. No one is going to let you leave this place alive - through any door - if you don’t do what Nathan’s asking.”
She made an expression that was so much like Audrey, Lucy, and Sarah that it was almost Vince’s undoing; accepting and calculating at the same time. A quiet and distant nodding of the head as she looked over the task at hand. Vince just as quietly damned everything he’d ever thought he’d known about the woman in front of him.
Audrey Parker, Lucy Ripley and Sarah Vernon were all wonderful women. And none of them were this woman in front of them. They were people whose lives had been mimicked for the benefit of the Troubled so that this creature could face her sentence in coming to offer some aid to them. Aid, but never a cure. Never curing the curses she’d inflicted. Vince hated her right then. Angrily and deeply. If there was a way to suppress this creature forever, to force Audrey Parker back onto her then he’d find it and do it. At least they could all have that. And he would need Duke and Jennifer for that too. And if they couldn’t do it; then he’d put her down like a rabid dog. Which is probably what should have happened to begin with. Because hundreds of years of horrible cycles of horrible Troubles was no better solution than just having the damn Troubles to begin with.
He watched her approach Jennifer first. “And none of your tricks Mara. They are both restored. You understand? Restored and whole or I’ll have a bullet in your head faster than you can sneer.”
Mara sighed inwardly. As far as demands placed on her, curing this Child of Ruin in front of her and her lover was easy. And since Jennifer was more like herself than she was the others she could perhaps build an alliance with her.
“Ladies first,” she announced as she approached Jennifer. “Try to hold on there, Luke.”
“It’s Duke,” the one named Nathan, the one that Audrey loved, corrected.
She only smirked in response as she stooped to Jennifer, taking in a deep breath and reaching for the woman she put her mouth to hers and breathed in. She held her end of the bargain, breathing in only restoration and life. It wasn’t her fault that Children like this came with powers that could be a little… Troubling.
When Jennifer drew in a ragged breath and opened her eyes she flinched away from Mara.
“I would never,” she whispered. Denying the possibility of an alliance with her.
Mara shrugged and smiled slightly. “You might.” She turned to Duke.
“Sorry about earlier, I was a little out of sorts. Not quite myself.” Her gaze closed in on his chest. Her smile seemed merely mischievous and Duke shuddered inwardly at the face he’d come to know as Audrey, the face of a friend was warped into the face of this enemy who reeked of malice and failed short of Audrey’s charm and wit.
“Duke?” Jennifer struggled to stand, to get to him, to protect him. Her strength was returning but not fast enough.
Duke shifted his gaze to Jennifer and Mara marked how he changed. How his anger and revulsion evaporated and were supplanted by tenderness, concern and love.
“Oh, relax little girl. I’m going to need him if I’m going to get William back. Not to mention, if I want to get out of this cave alive.” She took a step toward Duke. “Open up and let me see.”
Duke complied with the remainder of his failing strength and Mara inspected him closely, tracing where his re-Troubling had gone wrong and reaching out she placed her hand over the imprint left on him and focused on withdrawal. She wondered just how restored the man named Vince meant.
Duke felt a tearing feeling that he was sure would finish him off and as the world spun out from under him he heard Jennifer scream his name and saw her rush toward him. It was Nathan who caught him as he fell though. Nathan’s quiet curse and strong hands bracing him at the shoulders even as Jennifer’s tiny, soft hands took one of his.
“Sorry. But I actually can’t make this easy and painless. There’s a lot in here to deal with.” Mara didn’t sound sorry at all. But after awhile the tearing sensation seemed to ease back and he could feel Jennifer there. One hand still linked with his as the other gently wiped at his face using her scarf. Soiling it with his blood. Nathan had eased him down so that he was lying against the wall and was sitting next to him.
“You okay?” Nathan murmured to him.
Duke nodded. “Getting there,” he said quietly. He turned to look at Jennifer, her lips still too bloodless but her eyes alert. “Jennifer?” He laid his hand on the side of her neck.
“I’m okay Duke. I’m just…”
“I’ll be okay. I promise.”
Mara watched them and grimaced slightly as she looked away. She couldn’t stop her gaze from moving to Nathan who was also watching them; looking inexplicably sad and pleased. For some reason, he’d promised to help her get William back for their sake.
“A little hard to understand, isn’t it?” Vince had come to stand beside her and even though he didn’t have the ability to actually read minds, she knew he had long been good at reading people in situations.
“I don’t have to understand it,” she replied with a shrug.
“No, you don’t,” Vince answered. But you want to.
Jennifer moved her own hand to cover the one Duke had laid on her neck. There was an importance in that gesture that Mara also wanted to understand. When Jennifer had fallen Duke had been dying and he had still rushed to catch her. After a moment the younger woman removed his hand and turned to kiss his palm and after a lingering and meaningful look between them stood. Nathan helped Duke rise after her.
“What are we going to do with her?” Jennifer asked.
Mara raised her eyebrows at both Jennifer’s gall and because she had her own question as to what the plan for the immediate future would be.
“Lock her up somewhere?” Duke suggested.
“We can’t,” Nathan replied.
“If Audrey Parker doesn’t return again to help with the Troubled; all hell could break loose again,” Vince added.
“Are you actually saying that I have to pretend to be Audrey Parker again?”
“Until we can figure out how to open that door again and get William, you’re going to have to,” Nathan asserted.
“Or at least not yourself,” Jennifer added.
Both Mara and Nathan frowned at her.
“Well, she can’t be herself. And she may have some trouble pretending to be Audrey.”
“The town thinks she is Detective Parker, HPD,” Nathan pointed out.
“You used the amnesia lie before,” Mara pointed out.
“We could just put her in a medical induced coma,” Duke suggested. “I bet Gloria would be willing to help out with that.”
Mara wondered why she was shocked when the others seemed to consider his idea.
“You shouldn’t be shocked,” Jennifer told her. “Not after everything you’ve done.”
“What will everyone think of you doing that to Audrey?”
“Who’s going to tell them?” Vince retorted.
Mara began to feel fear again, she understood only enough of the world’s modern medicine to know that the powerful drugs they would force into her system were undesirable and could have potentially harmful side effects.
The memories started to/could overcome her. And twice she had loved him.
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“What’s it like to be good?”
“To be what?”
“To have everyone look at you like you’re some holy virgin, when you’re not. To have them risk so much for you. To be able to send them to their deaths, what’s that like?”
Jennifer narrowed her eyes on her. “You have Audrey’s memories, don’t you know?” She would not rise to the bait but she also wasn’t going to let Mara get away with anything.
“I have her memories, I don’t have her feelings though.”
“Then you’ll just have to ponder those for yourself. Duke knows who I am. And Nathan knows who Audrey is.”
“What about the others?”
"I don't know. I don't really care as much either."
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"Are you out of your mind, promising her to help her get William back? We don't even know how or where to find him!"
"What was I supposed to do? Let Jennifer die? Let you die? Duke, you were the one who asked me to do it."
"I didn't mean to! I didn't mean to..." Duke didn't really know how to finish that sentence.
"Besides," Nathan continued, "Audrey is still in there. Somewhere. We gotta figure out how to get her back."
"Nathan. That's not Audrey anymore. That woman is..."
"Something about her is still Audrey. She has Audrey's memories..."
"Because the real Audrey Parker got her memories wiped when she came up here to track an identity thief!"
Nathan's lips tightened.
"Look, Duke. If you don't want to help, I don't blame you. Especially not if you want to just take Jennifer and run. Mara will try to use Jennifer, if she can."
"I'm not leavin'. I'll see this thing through. But, Nathan... She strikes out at Jennifer? At you? I'll put that bitch down."
"Duke.... You're not going to need to."
Please leave comments.
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“Now; who’s going to help me get William back?”
Duke staggered toward her, ready to kill her, to beg her, he didn’t know which. He caught sight of Nathan, stunned, heartbroken and growing angry just behind her. If it was in him, he’d help her himself. If only she would or could revive Jennifer. If only Jennifer would be alright again.
“Nathan!” Was that him, gasping his friend’s name? It wasn’t what he meant to do. He hadn’t meant to call out for Nathan at all. But Mara was right, he was dying, Jennifer might be dead and Nathan had to do it. He had to make the deal that Duke couldn’t make.
Through the red haze he saw Nathan look back and forth between himself and Jennifer, and saw the grim determination come over him.
Nathan looked at Jennifer and knew that Duke was in the same place he had been about a year ago before. Desperate to save the woman he loved and unable to do it at the same time. Duke had jumped into that barn with no guarantees of surviving it or coming out. He’d done it for Audrey and he’d done it for Nathan, himself. Now, it was Nathan’s turn. There was no way of knowing what he was getting himself into, but he had to try.
“You fix Jennifer. And Duke. And I’ll help you get William back.”
Mara turned around and sneered at him.
“You think you’ll get your precious Audrey back too?”
Nathan held his breath and his stance. “No one is going to help you so much as eat in this town if you let either one of them die.”
“Dwight,” Vince ordered, “get Dave and get your hundred yards clearance.” Vince leveled Duke’s gun on her. “Forget helping you eat. No one is going to let you leave this place alive - through any door - if you don’t do what Nathan’s asking.”
She made an expression that was so much like Audrey, Lucy, and Sarah that it was almost Vince’s undoing; accepting and calculating at the same time. A quiet and distant nodding of the head as she looked over the task at hand. Vince just as quietly damned everything he’d ever thought he’d known about the woman in front of him.
Audrey Parker, Lucy Ripley and Sarah Vernon were all wonderful women. And none of them were this woman in front of them. They were people whose lives had been mimicked for the benefit of the Troubled so that this creature could face her sentence in coming to offer some aid to them. Aid, but never a cure. Never curing the curses she’d inflicted. Vince hated her right then. Angrily and deeply. If there was a way to suppress this creature forever, to force Audrey Parker back onto her then he’d find it and do it. At least they could all have that. And he would need Duke and Jennifer for that too. And if they couldn’t do it; then he’d put her down like a rabid dog. Which is probably what should have happened to begin with. Because hundreds of years of horrible cycles of horrible Troubles was no better solution than just having the damn Troubles to begin with.
He watched her approach Jennifer first. “And none of your tricks Mara. They are both restored. You understand? Restored and whole or I’ll have a bullet in your head faster than you can sneer.”
Mara sighed inwardly. As far as demands placed on her, curing this Child of Ruin in front of her and her lover was easy. And since Jennifer was more like herself than she was the others she could perhaps build an alliance with her.
“Ladies first,” she announced as she approached Jennifer. “Try to hold on there, Luke.”
“It’s Duke,” the one named Nathan, the one that Audrey loved, corrected.
She only smirked in response as she stooped to Jennifer, taking in a deep breath and reaching for the woman she put her mouth to hers and breathed in. She held her end of the bargain, breathing in only restoration and life. It wasn’t her fault that Children like this came with powers that could be a little… Troubling.
When Jennifer drew in a ragged breath and opened her eyes she flinched away from Mara.
“I would never,” she whispered. Denying the possibility of an alliance with her.
Mara shrugged and smiled slightly. “You might.” She turned to Duke.
“Sorry about earlier, I was a little out of sorts. Not quite myself.” Her gaze closed in on his chest. Her smile seemed merely mischievous and Duke shuddered inwardly at the face he’d come to know as Audrey, the face of a friend was warped into the face of this enemy who reeked of malice and failed short of Audrey’s charm and wit.
“Duke?” Jennifer struggled to stand, to get to him, to protect him. Her strength was returning but not fast enough.
Duke shifted his gaze to Jennifer and Mara marked how he changed. How his anger and revulsion evaporated and were supplanted by tenderness, concern and love.
“Oh, relax little girl. I’m going to need him if I’m going to get William back. Not to mention, if I want to get out of this cave alive.” She took a step toward Duke. “Open up and let me see.”
Duke complied with the remainder of his failing strength and Mara inspected him closely, tracing where his re-Troubling had gone wrong and reaching out she placed her hand over the imprint left on him and focused on withdrawal. She wondered just how restored the man named Vince meant.
Duke felt a tearing feeling that he was sure would finish him off and as the world spun out from under him he heard Jennifer scream his name and saw her rush toward him. It was Nathan who caught him as he fell though. Nathan’s quiet curse and strong hands bracing him at the shoulders even as Jennifer’s tiny, soft hands took one of his.
“Sorry. But I actually can’t make this easy and painless. There’s a lot in here to deal with.” Mara didn’t sound sorry at all. But after awhile the tearing sensation seemed to ease back and he could feel Jennifer there. One hand still linked with his as the other gently wiped at his face using her scarf. Soiling it with his blood. Nathan had eased him down so that he was lying against the wall and was sitting next to him.
“You okay?” Nathan murmured to him.
Duke nodded. “Getting there,” he said quietly. He turned to look at Jennifer, her lips still too bloodless but her eyes alert. “Jennifer?” He laid his hand on the side of her neck.
“I’m okay Duke. I’m just…”
“I’ll be okay. I promise.”
Mara watched them and grimaced slightly as she looked away. She couldn’t stop her gaze from moving to Nathan who was also watching them; looking inexplicably sad and pleased. For some reason, he’d promised to help her get William back for their sake.
“A little hard to understand, isn’t it?” Vince had come to stand beside her and even though he didn’t have the ability to actually read minds, she knew he had long been good at reading people in situations.
“I don’t have to understand it,” she replied with a shrug.
“No, you don’t,” Vince answered. But you want to.
Jennifer moved her own hand to cover the one Duke had laid on her neck. There was an importance in that gesture that Mara also wanted to understand. When Jennifer had fallen Duke had been dying and he had still rushed to catch her. After a moment the younger woman removed his hand and turned to kiss his palm and after a lingering and meaningful look between them stood. Nathan helped Duke rise after her.
“What are we going to do with her?” Jennifer asked.
Mara raised her eyebrows at both Jennifer’s gall and because she had her own question as to what the plan for the immediate future would be.
“Lock her up somewhere?” Duke suggested.
“We can’t,” Nathan replied.
“If Audrey Parker doesn’t return again to help with the Troubled; all hell could break loose again,” Vince added.
“Are you actually saying that I have to pretend to be Audrey Parker again?”
“Until we can figure out how to open that door again and get William, you’re going to have to,” Nathan asserted.
“Or at least not yourself,” Jennifer added.
Both Mara and Nathan frowned at her.
“Well, she can’t be herself. And she may have some trouble pretending to be Audrey.”
“The town thinks she is Detective Parker, HPD,” Nathan pointed out.
“You used the amnesia lie before,” Mara pointed out.
“We could just put her in a medical induced coma,” Duke suggested. “I bet Gloria would be willing to help out with that.”
Mara wondered why she was shocked when the others seemed to consider his idea.
“You shouldn’t be shocked,” Jennifer told her. “Not after everything you’ve done.”
“What will everyone think of you doing that to Audrey?”
“Who’s going to tell them?” Vince retorted.
Mara began to feel fear again, she understood only enough of the world’s modern medicine to know that the powerful drugs they would force into her system were undesirable and could have potentially harmful side effects.
The memories started to/could overcome her. And twice she had loved him.
-------------------------------------------
“What’s it like to be good?”
“To be what?”
“To have everyone look at you like you’re some holy virgin, when you’re not. To have them risk so much for you. To be able to send them to their deaths, what’s that like?”
Jennifer narrowed her eyes on her. “You have Audrey’s memories, don’t you know?” She would not rise to the bait but she also wasn’t going to let Mara get away with anything.
“I have her memories, I don’t have her feelings though.”
“Then you’ll just have to ponder those for yourself. Duke knows who I am. And Nathan knows who Audrey is.”
“What about the others?”
"I don't know. I don't really care as much either."
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"Are you out of your mind, promising her to help her get William back? We don't even know how or where to find him!"
"What was I supposed to do? Let Jennifer die? Let you die? Duke, you were the one who asked me to do it."
"I didn't mean to! I didn't mean to..." Duke didn't really know how to finish that sentence.
"Besides," Nathan continued, "Audrey is still in there. Somewhere. We gotta figure out how to get her back."
"Nathan. That's not Audrey anymore. That woman is..."
"Something about her is still Audrey. She has Audrey's memories..."
"Because the real Audrey Parker got her memories wiped when she came up here to track an identity thief!"
Nathan's lips tightened.
"Look, Duke. If you don't want to help, I don't blame you. Especially not if you want to just take Jennifer and run. Mara will try to use Jennifer, if she can."
"I'm not leavin'. I'll see this thing through. But, Nathan... She strikes out at Jennifer? At you? I'll put that bitch down."
"Duke.... You're not going to need to."
Falling In Love In a Coffee Shop - Part 13 (formerly What you Want - smut)
Jennifer stood a little longer in the shower than she meant to, trying to work out what would happen when she stepped out and put on Duke's shirt and then.... And then what? She shuddered at the idea of putting on Duke's shirt, the idea making her feel more naked than she already was. There was an intimacy in that scenario that she didn't know how to cope with. There was already so MUCH intimacy between them that seemed so out of place. There was no denying the mutual attraction but everything between them was strangely fractured. She looked down at her body and winced at the bruises that still ached. She had avoided looking in the mirror and wasn't in any hurry to do so. What had Duke seen? How did he view her now? She closed her eyes and let herself remember as much as she could from the previous night. He had seen her naked. He had held her against his own body and he had been naked. She suddenly regretted not noticing what that looked like.
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